Adam And Eve Virus Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline Luggage Virus You're in Dallas but your data is in Singapore.
Bob Dole Virus Could be virulent but it's been around too long to be
much of a threat.
Colin Powell Virus Makes its presense known but doesn't do anything.
Secretly you wish it would . . .
Congressional Virus Your computer locks up and the screen splits in
half with the same message apprearing on each half. The message says
that the blame for the gridlock is caused by the other side.
Dan Quayle Virus Their is sumthing rong with your komputer, but ewe
just cant figyour outt watt!
Elvis Virus Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self-
destructs only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations
across rural America.
Federal Bureaucrat Virus Divides your Hard Drive into hundreds of
little units each of which does practically nothing but all of which
claim to be the most important part of your computer.
Freudian Virus Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own
motherboard.
Gallup Virus 60% of the PC's infected will lose 30% of their data 14%
of the time (+/- 3.5% margin of error).
George Bush Virus Starts by boldly stating, "read my docs . . . no
new files!" Proceeds to fill up all the free space on your hard drive
with new files and blames it on the Congressional Virus.
Government Economist Virus Nothing works but all your diagnostic
software says everything is fine.
Health Care Virus Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong -
then sends you a bill for $4,500.00!
Hillary Clinton Virus Files disappear only to reappear mysteriously a
year later in another directory.
Jimmy Hoffa Virus: Your programs can never be found again.
Kevorkian Virus Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.
Lorenna Bobbitt Virus Turns your 5.25" Hard Drive into a 3.5" Floppy.
New World Order Virus Probably harmless but it makes a lot of people
mad just thinking about it.
Nike Virus Just does it!
O. J. Simpson Virus You know it's guilty of trashing your system but
you just can't prove it.
Ollie North Virus Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.
Pat Buchannan Virus Your system works fine but complains loudly about
foreign software.
Paul Revere Virus This revolutionary virus doesn't horse around. It
warns you of an impending Hard Drive Attack: once if by LAN and twice
if by C.
PBS Virus Your programs stop every few minute to ask for money.
Politically Correct Virus Never identifies itself as a "virus" but
instead refers to itself as an "Electronic Micro-Organism".
Ross Perot Virus Activates every component in your system just before
the whole thing quits.
Sears Virus Your data won't appear until you buy new cables, power
supply and a set of shockwaves.
Star Trek Virus Invades your system in places no virus has gone
before.
Steve Forbes Virus All files are reported as being of the same size.
Ted Turner Virus Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
Texas Virus Makes sure it's bigger than any other file or folder.
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