of change are useful in their own way. The problem is the
direction of
change.
Many people begin the process of changing
their habits by focusing on
what they want to achieve. This leads us to outcome-based habits. The
alternative is to build identity-based habits. With this approach, we start by
focusing on
who we wish to become.
OUTCOME-BASED HABITS
IDENTITY-BASED HABITS
FIGURE 4: With outcome-based habits, the focus is on what you want to
achieve. With identity-based habits, the focus is on who you wish to
become.
Imagine two people resisting a cigarette. When offered a smoke, the first
person says, “No thanks. I’m trying to quit.” It sounds like a reasonable
response, but this person still believes they are a smoker who is trying to be
something else. They are hoping their behavior
will change while carrying
around the same beliefs.
The second person declines by saying, “No thanks. I’m not a smoker.”
It’s a small difference, but this statement signals a shift in identity. Smoking
was part of their former life, not their current one. They no longer identify
as someone who smokes.
Most people don’t even consider identity change when they set out to
improve. They just think, “I want to be skinny (outcome) and if I stick to
this diet, then I’ll be skinny (process).” They set goals and determine the
actions they should take to achieve those goals without considering the
beliefs that drive their actions. They never
shift the way they look at
themselves, and they don’t realize that their old identity can sabotage their
new plans for change.
Behind every system of actions are a system of beliefs. The system of a
democracy is founded on beliefs like freedom, majority rule, and social
equality. The system of a dictatorship has a very different set of beliefs like
absolute authority and strict obedience. You can imagine many ways to try
to get more people to vote in a democracy, but such behavior change would
never get off the ground in a dictatorship. That’s
not the identity of the
system. Voting is a behavior that is impossible under a certain set of beliefs.
A similar pattern exists whether we are discussing individuals,
organizations, or societies. There are a set of beliefs and assumptions that
shape the system, an identity behind the habits.
Behavior that is incongruent with the self will not last. You may want
more money, but if your identity is someone who consumes rather than
creates, then you’ll continue to be pulled toward spending rather than
earning. You may want better health, but if you continue to prioritize
comfort over accomplishment, you’ll be drawn to relaxing rather than
training. It’s hard to change your habits if you
never change the underlying
beliefs that led to your past behavior. You have a new goal and a new plan,
but you haven’t changed
who you are.
The story of Brian Clark, an entrepreneur from Boulder, Colorado,
provides a good example. “For as long as I can remember, I’ve chewed my
fingernails,” Clark told me. “It started as a nervous habit when I was young,
and then morphed into an undesirable grooming ritual. One day, I resolved
to stop chewing my nails until they grew out a bit. Through mindful
willpower alone, I managed to do it.”
Then, Clark did something surprising.
“I asked my wife to schedule my first-ever manicure,” he said. “My
thought was that if I started
paying to maintain my nails, I wouldn’t chew
them. And it worked, but not for the monetary reason. What happened was
the manicure made my fingers look really nice for the first time. The
manicurist even said that—other than the chewing—I had really healthy,
attractive nails. Suddenly, I was proud of my fingernails. And even though
that’s something I had never aspired to, it made all the difference. I’ve
never chewed my nails since; not even a single close call. And it’s because I
now take pride in properly caring for them.”
The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part
of your identity. It’s one thing to say I’m
the type of person who wants this.
It’s something very different to say I’m the type of person who
is this.
The more pride you have in a particular aspect of your identity, the more
motivated you will be to maintain the habits associated with it. If you’re
proud of how your hair looks, you’ll develop all sorts of habits to care for
and maintain it. If you’re proud of the size of your biceps, you’ll make sure
you never skip an upper-body workout. If you’re proud of the scarves you
knit, you’ll be more likely to spend hours knitting each week. Once your
pride
gets involved, you’ll fight tooth and nail to maintain your habits.
True behavior change is identity change. You might start a habit because
of motivation, but the only reason you’ll stick with one is that it becomes
