3.
Extroversion: outgoing and energetic to solitary and reserved (you
likely know them as extroverts vs. introverts).
4.
Agreeableness: friendly and compassionate to challenging and
detached.
5.
Neuroticism: anxious and
sensitive to confident, calm, and stable.
All five characteristics have biological underpinnings. Extroversion, for
instance, can be tracked from birth. If scientists play a loud noise in the
nursing ward, some babies turn toward it while others turn away. When the
researchers tracked these children through life, they found that the babies
who turned toward the noise were more likely to grow up to be extroverts.
Those who turned away were more likely to become introverts.
People who are high in agreeableness are kind, considerate, and warm.
They also tend to have higher natural oxytocin levels, a hormone that plays
an important role in social bonding, increases feelings of trust, and can act
as a natural antidepressant. You can easily imagine how someone with more
oxytocin might be inclined to build habits like writing thank-you notes or
organizing social events.
As a third example, consider neuroticism, which is a personality trait all
people possess to various degrees. People who are high in neuroticism tend
to be anxious and worry more than others. This trait has been linked to
hypersensitivity of the amygdala, the portion
of the brain responsible for
noticing threats. In other words, people who are more sensitive to negative
cues in their environment are more likely to score high in neuroticism.
Our habits are not solely determined by our personalities, but there is no
doubt that our genes nudge us in a certain direction. Our deeply rooted
preferences make certain behaviors easier for some people than for others.
You don’t have to apologize for these differences or feel guilty about them,
but you do have to work with them. A person who scores lower on
conscientiousness, for example, will be less likely to be orderly by nature
and may need to rely more heavily on environment
design to stick with
good habits. (As a reminder for the less conscientious readers among us,
environment design is a strategy we discussed in Chapters 6 and 12.)
The takeaway is that you should build habits that work for your
personality.
*
People can get ripped working out like a bodybuilder, but if
you prefer rock climbing or cycling or rowing,
then shape your exercise
habit around your interests. If your friend follows a low-carb diet but you
find that low-fat works for you, then more power to you. If you want to read
more, don’t be embarrassed if you prefer steamy romance novels over
nonfiction. Read whatever fascinates you.
*
You don’t
have to build the
habits everyone tells you to build. Choose the habit that best suits you, not
the one that is most popular.
There is a version of every habit that can bring you joy and satisfaction.
Find it. Habits need to be enjoyable if they are going to stick. This is the
core idea behind the 4th Law.
Tailoring your habits to your personality is a good start, but this is not the
end of the story. Let’s turn our attention to finding and designing situations
where you’re at a natural advantage.
