Your response tends to follow your emotions. Our thoughts and actions
are rooted in what we find attractive, not necessarily in what is logical. Two
people can notice the same set of facts and respond very differently because
they run those facts through their unique emotional filter. This is one reason
why appealing to emotion is typically more powerful than appealing to
reason. If a topic makes someone feel emotional, they will rarely be
interested in the data. This is why emotions can be such a threat to wise
decision making.
Put another way: most people believe that the reasonable response is the
one that benefits them: the one that satisfies their desires. To approach a
situation from a more neutral emotional position allows you to base your
response on the data rather than the emotion.
Suffering drives progress. The source of all suffering is the desire for a
change in state. This is also the source of all progress. The desire to change
your state is what powers you to take action. It is wanting more that pushes
humanity to seek improvements, develop new technologies, and reach for a
higher level. With craving, we are dissatisfied but driven. Without craving,
we are satisfied but lack ambition.
Your actions reveal how badly you want something. If you keep
saying something is a priority but you never act on it, then you don’t really
want it. It’s time to have an honest conversation with yourself. Your actions
reveal your true motivations.
Reward is on the other side of sacrifice. Response (sacrifice of energy)
always precedes reward (the collection of resources). The “runner’s high”
only comes after the hard run. The reward only comes after the energy is
spent.
Self-control is difficult because it is not satisfying. A reward is an
outcome that satisfies your craving. This makes self-control ineffective
because inhibiting our desires does not usually resolve them. Resisting
temptation does not satisfy your craving; it just ignores it. It creates space
for the craving to pass. Self-control requires you to release a desire rather
than satisfy it.
